


The sixth tone

by peries



Category: SixTONES (Band)
Genre: Angst, Exes, Harem, M/M, hikaru kizashi, plus platonic ships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:41:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25380055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peries/pseuds/peries
Summary: 6T harem college auKochi yugo is granted a scholarship at Johnny's University, home to the rising rookie duo, HokuJe. He tries to adjust to the elite idol school as he continues to feel like he doesn't belong, until a new idol project was announced: SixTONESmeeting new friends and discovering passions... but most of all, rekindling of old flames.
Relationships: Jesse Lewis/Matsumura Hokuto, Kouchi Yugo/Jesse Lewis, Kyomoto Taiga/Matsumura Hokuto, Kyomoto Taiga/Tanaka Juri, Matsumura Hokuto/Morimoto Shintarou, OT6-relationship - Relationship
Comments: 10
Kudos: 48





	1. A knock on the door

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first 6T fic, it will be an ongoing story. Kudos are appreciated!

Bustling through the kitchen, kochi sets up the rice, takes out the frozen meat and takes a moment to scan the fridge. while he's coming up with a meal for 6 people in a span of seconds, his father grunts in pain and it echoed through the walls. The busy house-chef hurried to the patient's side after retracing his steps to close the fridge left open. His patient coughed phlegm into the tissue in kochi's hands in striking pain from his damaged ribs. His father hasn't spoken in weeks; he was injured and out of it. Before kochi could resume his cooking, he cleaned up the toys lying in his footsteps and then his hands. 

"your father is recovering very slow. it's hard on all of us in this tiny house." his aunt remarked. After an accident that left kochi's old house burn and his father injured, his aunt kindly allowed them in her small home. "but it's fine you're working very hard on behalf of your father....although, I've noticed your job doesn't pay well, does it? it would be nice for all of us if you could find better means. besides, you're a really capable boy." 

"...I'm always grateful for your kindness aunt, for letting us live here" he lowers his head, a line he courteously inserts every other day. 

"Oh well you're very lucky I was here to give you a roof, of course it's no problem!"

"....are we still behind on the bills? I gave my salary last week" 

His aunt lived in a slightly better status than them. Her middle child is out there independently somewhere, she lost touch a few months back. Her eldest is the breadwinner but has an unstable income. And she...has an impulsive shopping problem.

"oh that didn't come close" she chuckled "sadly we still have more bills to pay, you know it right? there's three more of you in here so no wonder! the water, electricity, the wifi, groceries" she justifies

"of course, I'll find a way...." he sighs as he glances over to the new tablet his nephews have been using, the youngest two boys of his aunt. The hospital bills already ate up his father's savings and his own. Living in someone else's house, you have to tiptoe every single day.

"onii-chan, i'll help cut the vegetables." his younger sister interrupted. Yume has grown up faster than kids her age, but he couldn't afford her schooling anymore. They set up dinner and ate a cup of rice each, while the rest got seconds. Kochi excused himself to feed his father in bed and let him drink his antibiotics. He returned to the kitchen to a pile of dishes stacked horribly.

Moments later, someone was at the door. The young lady rushed to entertain the visitor. 

"Hello! A pleasant evening little princess, I'm here for kochi yugo. May I see him?" A dashing, important-looking figure appeared at their doorstep, the sister couldn't help but stare awkwardly as she let him inside. The guest waited in the small living room until kochi finished his chore. Yume found his brother's phone on the table lying around, with an email notification on its screen. "Huh?"

"Congratulations! We are pleased to inform your scholarship grant at Johnny's University...." she reads aloud

Yume felt her heart skip a beat. And behind her, kochi is overwhelmed at the news himself, while simultaneously surprised at his visitor's presence.

"Scholarship? Onni-chan whats this?"

 _What..? I got accepted?_ A sudden rush of adrenaline felt up his skin, followed by a quick realization "yume, that's nothing....it's nothing-" he turned to his guest who is patiently examining his reaction.  
"You.......is that why you're here?" 

"Huh? Ah yes! ah no not really...!" the sociable guest fumbled over his words as kochi met his eyes "...I'm just visiting a friend that's all" 

"Yume, please excuse us for a minute will you?" he signaled to his sister, while dragging his guest outside the door.

"....You know you shouldn't be here, my father.....he can't...." he stopped before finding the words to say. It wasn't easy breaking the ice with that opener. Changing the topic to the matter at hand...."What did you do?" he asked, suspicious of the sudden news.

"What, me? No, I didnt do anything! the thing is Kochi....they really liked you. you were chosen for this scholarship....it's huge!"

He couldn't believe what hes hearing. There was no way he made it just like that. Kochi's self-esteem bangs loudly at his head. _Did he_ _pull some strings?_

"But.....I can't..... my sister and my father....." 

"I knew you were going to say that....But, kochi you deserve to live a little..."

"Onii-chan" yume eavesdropping interrupted "Why are you hesitating? Is it me?...I can take care of myself you know that right? And father, I'll take care of him too. I already learned everything from you, you know that right?" Kochi's heart ached. Seeing his little sister forced to grow older. 

His guest looked away, it's a painful scene to embrace...but he was determined "Kochi, its a huge scholarship.....the allowance, it will help" he knew the words to say.

Kochi stopped in his thoughts. It was an impulsive choice to apply for JU, he was only trying his luck. He wasn't smart enough to qualify for a normal scholarship at a normal university. His grades were ordinary and he quit sports a long time ago. His aunt never cared to notice but he eventually stopped coming to class and dropped out. Books were expensive and time was a luxury. He lost interest in college, until he discovered the scholarship. This elite institute was accepting applications with a monthly allowance equivalent to his combined part-time salaries. An idol scholarship, an investment in the entertainment industry. Was he really accepted after that audition? _I am simply an ordinary countryside boy....how did this happen?_

His aunt noticed the noise and checked up on the men. "Why are you outside? What's going on?"

The reliable and courteous guest was quick to say his greetings "A pleasant evening dear aunt! I bring you news that your nephew here, Kochi Yugo, has been accepted into the elite idol school Johnny's University at Tokyo with a generous allowance for a scholarship. He is to move into the dormitory very soon. He will find in his emails a more detailed instruction to finalize his admission."

_Dormitory? This is all moving too fast._

  



	2. A chime of the phone bell

A countryside boy arrives in Tokyo. He takes a cab to the prestigious university he has heard so much about. After being granted entry to the institute, they drive past stunning architectures with big billboards of their well-known idols, actors and other talents, and past incredibly-wide ecofriendly parks. It was an entire world on its own. While a university, it was also a big corporation producing talents for entertainment. He was most excited about a football field he spotted in the far border before the cab came to a stop. He navigated his way to the dormitory desk and was well received. As other students pass by, he realized he was underdressed for an idol scholar. Everyone else looked fancy. 

"Your room is ready, Mr. Kochi. I advise you to move your things in before settling all the other requirements to comply for your admission. You must be tired from the trip. I am sending your dorm floor representative to accompany you to your room. You must return here when you're ready for further instructions but, don't take all day to rest." Not long after, a student approached the desk and reached out his hands. "Yo, new student, I'm your dorm floor representative, Tanaka. I'll take you to your room!" He naturally grabbed the bag off kochi's shoulder and led the way. How dependable, kochi couldnt help but stare at his pink hair. "So, Where's the rest of your luggage? I'll come back for it when you reach your room." 

"Oh...no need. These are all of it..." _I don't have many clothes after all._

"Huh, really? How strange...by the way, we are assigned to the 2nd floor of this dormitory, called Dorm Japonica. For your info, there's Dorm Hysteria, Dorm Navigator, etc. There's no specific criteria between the students residing in each dorm, it's quite random, depends on your reservation. After a while, you can request for other rooms but it would be pending approval depending on your reasons. So you'll need to have your ID processed as soon as possible, get your paperwork, your scholarship attestment..." _he's speaking so fast I'm not sure I follow_ "....in this dorm we have a shared kitchen and a laundry room for each floor, a bathroom for each room...and of course.." the pink hair pointed to his door "here's your own room"

It was a bigger space than what he's used to. Plain white and spotless, until he noticed a bit of dust collecting at the shelves. He was more excited about cleaning up than getting admitted. "There's two beds, I have a roommate?" he thought it was unlikely seeing it unkept, but he was indeed sharing the room. 

  
"Your roommate has been using the room to himself for a long while now, he's not here often though, so if you ever have questions or need any help, I'm your guy! My room is just at the opposite end of this floor! Ah...Wait! I forgot I had somewhere to be! Hey, new student. here, if you don't mind me taking your phone, I'll be inputting my contact so you can hit me up anytime." _that was fast, how efficient..._  
"Tanaka. Juri. there you go! Bye!" he started leaving, or so kochi thought, his head peaked through the door

  
"What's your name again?" 

  
"Um, kochi yugo" 

  
"Kocchan, as your dorm floor representative, I'll be visiting every night before curfew, that's 9pm for your info" _he just keeps going on_ "I am also one of the dorm's safety stewards so! do not start any fires, you hear me?!" _and on_ "...I'm trained in first aid so you can feel safe being here. Ah, I'm gonna be late! We have a meeting in the executive council today. Call you later mister mochi".... _How busy and dependable...wait did he just call me mochi?_

Although he was allowed to rest, kochi returned to the desk right after unloading his things at his new room. He immediately worked on his enrollment, almost circling all the buildings until everything was settled. His allowance would arrive within the next few days.

It was almost evening. He passed by the cafeteria and other fast-food stores, horrified at the price lists. Juri mentioned so many things but the shared kitchen at each floor was the most crucial info he remembered. Time to cook dinner.

////

Juri came home tired from his errands thinking of going straight to bed when he was greeted with a pleasant smell from the dorm kitchen. Normally the kitchen is deserted because most JU students buy their meals outside their dorms. The university was booming with restaurants after all. 

  
"Mochi Kochi is that curry???" the exhausted Juri drooled over the sight of a homemade meal. "It smells like my mama's cooking.....!" he perched on the table with tears of joy. 

"Ah, you're back, I figured you'd be tired from all your busy work, so I made enough for both of us...ah only if you want! maybe you've already eaten so dont force yourself..."

"Really?? Of course I'm gonna eat ITADAKIMASU!" kochi was pleased to see his thin dormmate eat happily. 

"Kochi....you are like my mama....." he chewed in tears. "I miss my mama..." 

The cool pink Juri was a mama's boy. It was endearing to see him like that, kochi thought. "Tanaka-san...no, can I call you Juri? you are surprisingly a softie" they shared a nice conversation over a meal and that's how kochi made his first friend at his new university. Juri went to bed first and snored like a bear. Kochi on the other hand called his sister on the phone. He asked about every single detail from the moment he left. He added some more to the list he already made for his sister. He couldn't stop worrying.

"Onii-chan, I will be fine I told you! Enough about that! I'm just happy you're finally there, pursuing your passion and doing what you love! I will be cheering on you from afar. You should sleep now, Goodnight."

".....goodnight Yume." _My passion.._.the word rang through his head but he didn't feel it once _I don't really care... I know nothing about idols or Johnnys University. and it doesn't matter, I'm only here to pay the bills, and get a degree. Am I pathetic? There were probably other kids who wanted this scholarship. To accept it like this, I must be so rotten._

Bell chimes, A new message popped up.

"Tomorrow 11:30 am. at the oak tree behind the Cultural Office building."


	3. A spur-of-the-moment call

"Juri.....you're so early...." Kochi said half asleep while at his first class in the early morning. He caught up to Juri who arrived earlier. A sweet perfume scent from his friend activated his senses, noticing his sophisticated get-up. _Is college this fabulous_.... With some time left, Juri gave him a little tour in the current building, in every few steps he noticed Juri looking around. Somehow he was out of focus, and despite arriving so early for class, he waited until the last minute. 

"Juri!" they heard a distant call. Kochi turned around to see a pretty boy with long blond hair. "I got lost!! I havent really been to this side of the university. But then I saw a pink hair from the distance..." he giggled.

"Hey you! You're here! come on Kyomo, we're gonna be late" and that's when Kochi saw how Juri grabbed the blond's hands so naturally like it just belonged together, like puzzle pieces that fit, that just made sense, like it found its owner and never wants to let go even for a second. And for a moment, he was entranced by the sight, and felt a short longing. Or was that just his imagination...?

The two dashed to the class like it was an everyday thing, laughing with inside jokes and sharing looks that just connected. _Am I even here?_ Kochi walked behind them like he was invisible. Juri finally caught a glimpse of his outcasted friend and came out of their bubble. 

"Kochi, actually you're not the only new student here. This is Kyomo, while you're a late enrollee, he's a shiftee from the theater department. I volunteered to catch you both up since you're new to the block."

"....new? i had the impression you've known him for a while" 

"oh is it obvious? we're highschool classmates" 

_highschool sweethearts. At the very least, i know what it's like, those little fireworks..._ Kochi realized he didn't smell that fragrance yesterday, nor did he see those fancy fits. Maybe it wasn't just imagination after all.

Looking around, everyone else had their own social circles. He was in the middle fiddling with a notebook, hearing every spicy memory of his friend seated in front of him like no one else was in the room. But for a long time since they entered, he felt eyes on them. He wondered if his casual clothes were too plain, his bag or his hair. Every second longer in his chair behind reunited friends, feeling strong gazes all around him, and hearing whispers from different groups of strangers, he felt like ripping his ears out.

The professor's arrival interrupted his thoughts. Class started with attendance. The new names at the list wasn't overlooked. 

"I need the new students to introduce themselves. Stand up."

Kochi went first. 

"Huh....You're the new scholar? You look rather...ordinary. " the lyrical professor expressed his disappointment, kochi swears he could hear the class laughing. 

"Next?"

The blonde boy stood up. "Kyomoto Taiga...I am a shiftee"

"How lucky of us to have you here. The son of the famous Kyomoto Masaki...what made you shift from theater to the idol world? A change of heart?"

"Just a change of environment, I've always liked both." everyone in class recognized him as a hot topic in the industry, the son of a famous celebrity in Johnnys. He'd perform in the school festivals with musical performances for many years, he was a familiar face throughout the university. 

Juri didn't mention that, Kochi thought. It was simple, one was a plain ordinary scholar, the other a popular talented singer. There was only insecurity in his head at that moment, he sat still to calm himself, but he couldn't feel welcome. It felt like breathing became a little harder. He stared at the door like it was pulling him....until two other students came in, 15 minutes late. 

"Please excuse us, sir" the two busy men carefully went to find their seats, without a scold or an awkwardness to their arrival. The class rose in spirits, one of the school's pride has finally shown themselves. "They came from the morning news! I saw it just now" whispers resounded. "Must be so nice to be busy" Juri joined "they look good as always, HokuJe." 

And amidst all this, Kochi, who swears he could hear every single word uttered in the room just moments ago, left behind his previous thoughts and felt a drop of relief rippling through all the places he felt insecure with. "Ah, Jesse." he called out his name louder than he meant to before realizing to cover his lips. But the in demand duo proceeded to their seats while his spur-of-the-moment call faded into the classroom noise. 

_Ah...why did I shout?_ Maybe he felt rescued. In the coldest welcome in a new environment, he finally saw a familiar face, a presence he thought was comforting, like he was the vast blue sky that embraces the earth....And yet.....he didn't exactly feel familiar. _I called out to him by impulse but he didn't even turn to look. No...maybe he just didn't hear me._

"You know Jesse too, Kochi?" Juri noticed the incident. Before Kochi gave a reply, he continued "You a fan huh? he sure has a lot of fanboys." Kochi forgot he was a buzzing rookie idol, at least for a moment, because to him, Jesse was something else--he couldn't find a word. He could only look at his back figure and find a reason to smile, and similarly, to sulk. It was hard to ignore it, the way Jesse had almost talked to half the guys in class from front to side, but he never caught his attention, just the sight of his nape. He was quite sociable but cool and chic, and everyone seemed to look up to him. Kochi couldn't stop noticing him whenever he strikes a conversation with anyone, when he dropped that pencil because of his long limbs, and when he glanced at that silent boy he came in with. 

"Your next assignment will be by pair. Find a partner and discuss your plans." The few sentences that gutted Kochi. His only friend was Juri whose first choice was obviously Taiga. He tried but couldn't even look at any other person in the room, he was scared to catch their eyes. And when he turned up front to look at the only place he was able to, he finally met with Jesse's gaze, who, for the first time, was facing his exact direction, for what seemed like the longest ten seconds in their lives. It was the fireworks in his head again. Maybe this was gonna turn out fine after all, _maybe I didn't need to feel so scared._ But Jesse let go of his gaze, and Kochi once again saw his back figure, and next to him, his partner.

_I think he did hear me, he just didn't care to look._


	4. A whisper

"Tell me

Why should we separate?

Tell me

Why did you go?"

Song: Why 

///

It felt like the distance was growing 5 centimeters per second. Kochi had been glancing at the same place for comfort but it started making him sick, seeing the warm red color seem cold and blue. The class star, surrounded by his many friends and fans, had no time for his insignificant presence in the room. He finally looked away, upset and furious. And he stopped thinking, he stopped longing. Kochi had a bit of pride, and he hated the feeling of being ignored intentionally. But more than that, he hated how different the person was in front of him. But can he blame him? Did he have the right to feel offended? He may seem like an old familiar presence, but perhaps too old, too ancient for the present times that keep changing.

"Hmm...it seems the class is an odd number, I'll allow one group with three members." for a while Kochi had forgotten his predicament, he knew he was the only one without a pair. but he wasn't so enthusiastic in his first day of class that the good news didn't bring out a reaction from him. And for a second time, the seemingly cold star looked to his peripheral view, while stopping himself from making any rash decisions, until Juri from behind their seats raised his hand, making him turn completely to the same direction, as if he missed the chance to do something. 

"We'd like to have three members sir" Juri announced, which Taiga frowned on. "Kochi, you should group with us." Like an angel sent from above, Juri managed to cheer up his friend. Kochi could only smile in response to express his gratitude. For a while now, Juri had been worrying about him without alerting Taiga. And at that moment, he noticed Jesse was once again glancing at them. 

"Something wrong, Jesse?" Juri scoffed.

Jesse was baffled, he didn't expect Juri to catch his quick peek. "Nothing, I was just curious hearing your voice behind me class rep". The air felt tighter when they exchanged greetings. The two were part of the student executive council of their department. They often had opposing propositions and end up debating on decisions. Both were popular among the students, having the most connections and election votes. The way they do things is quite different but they always discuss things with each other. Despite the arguments, they are comfortable with each other's honesty and are good friends, although it may not look like it. 

The silent moody boy next to Jesse suddenly lit up "Ah! Juri! Long time no see! Hey, can I go to your room later? I wanna hang out." Hokuto was in high spirits. Kochi swears the lone wolf hasn't talked at all since he saw him, or has he been whispering all this time? Somehow, Juri made him talk out loud. "You sure you'll be around though? You're too busy Hokuto!" Juri playfully entertained his introverted friend. Hokuto has been on guard all this time but with Juri, he was more than comfortable. In fact, he likes to follow him around. They made trivial chit chats about the day and where they've been. "Become a group with us, Juri~ professor said there can be 3 members" Hokuto pleaded. 

"I can't! I already have a group with 3 members, Oh, by the way, Hokuto and Jesse, these guys are new to the block." Juri gestured to his groupmates. The duo awkwardly glanced at the new faces. And the conversation fell silent. ..... _What's this awkward atmosphere?_ Juri felt guilty for forcing it. Maybe not everyone was as communicative as he was, Maybe he shouldn't have done that. Everyone started nodding. What Juri didn't notice was the tension in the air. Kochi didn't even look. 

"We should start on our group work, sorry for disturbing ya" Jesse exclaimed and ended their seemingly awkward little first meeting. Juri never saw Jesse avoid making new acquaintances. At that moment, he felt a petty victory knowing he knew two more people than Jesse in the school. Meanwhile, his two groupmates were in a somber mood.

////

"Looks like we're on different schedules from now, I'll see you later friend?" Juri hesitated to leave Kochi alone, but his next class was in five minutes while Kochi was free until the afternoon. "Juri! Let's go!" Taiga called from the distance, ready to leave. "I'll be fine, I'll tour myself" Kochi assured the pink angel. Juri sighs, "Alright, don't make too many friends or I'll be lonely!" he joked, forcing a smile from his somber friend "and don't eat too much before eating my dinner" they soon departed. 

But Kochi didn't feel like exploring the place, he just had one destination. It was 11 am, he arrived at the oak tree behind the cultural office, recalling last night's goodnight message. The place was empty, no one else would've come here unless they knew its existence. He always loved being surrounded by the green pasture. The football field, this hidden grassland. It was his favorite color. He felt a little better. There was a wide tree swing to sit on and he rested, tilted his head.

Slowly, he closed his eyes and tried to nap. But he heard approaching footsteps, and before he knew it, he felt a sweet snuggling back embrace. He was hugged with such warmth, such longing, that it felt like he was awoken from an awful dream. His arms wrapped around Kochi as if to heal him, touching him gently where it hurt, and he knew, he knows he was hurt. 

"I officially welcome you to my school," he whispered. Under the big oak tree, his pleasant whisper rang through Kochi's ears. There was no other voice that could heal as softly as his. No other touch that was as comforting. But why? Why was he so indifferent then? _that he would not spare a tiny place for me beside him?_

"Jesse." He recalled his earlier spur-of-the-moment call, and how it faded like nothing. Kochi pulled away from his touch "How dare you hug me after ignoring me earlier." 

"I'm sorry but I had to!" The big guy asked for a little credit.

"Huh?"

Jesse sighed. "They can't see you with me!"

"What? Because I'm just a country bumpkin? And you're a superstar?" Kochi grabbed his collar "Weren't you the one who invaded my home and convinced me to enroll in this school? But now you're pretending you don't know me. I feel sick."

Jesse softly held the vexed grip at his neck, "I'm just trying to protect you." 

"From what?! I don't need you to protect me? I'm fucking grown!"

"Kochi! I don't want them saying things about you. If they see you with me-! if they know how close you are to me,...." Kochi's grip started loosening as he waited for Jesse's words "they'll think you got in because of me."

 _Huh._ He felt his body tremble. "So it's true"

"What?"

"You're guilty. You _did_ pull some strings." Kochi's hands fell from his friend's neck in utter disgust. 

"No I never said so!"

"You are" he was disappointed at Jesse.... angry, ashamed, and sickened."You're thinking they'll think that way because you _know_ it's true. You're just scared they'll find out."

But it's not like he ever believed Jesse didn't pull some strings, and that he somehow won the approval of the scholarship committee by his own merit, he never really thought so. He didn't even question it at the start. It wasn't something he could pass up on just because it didn't feel righteous. He didn't have the time and luxury to be righteous. He had to take the scholarship, with the ill-gotten blessing from Jesse. It just somehow hurt, knowing the truth. and how Jesse is trying to lie to make him feel better. Maybe if Jesse just told him the truth, his pride wouldn't be so hurt. So maybe it was alright....to take it out on Jesse.

"Kochi, I _didn't_ do anything! I'm not lying."

"You're only making it worse. Don't patronize me. Why do you have to make me feel like I actually belong here? Like I have a chance? Just leave me to save money from the allowance. Don't instill some false ideas in my head."

It hurt Jesse to hear those thoughts. "....You're so much more than you think you are." _If only you could see yourself like I see you_.

"Shut up"

"Please, I'm never gonna shut up if I'm gonna talk about you, Kochi. You are-" 

".....then why? Why do you think when they see _me,_ they'll think I got in because I'm friends with _you?_ Because you think I look ordinary too, right? that's the truth."

"You don't understand, I have a reputation too. I am on good terms with the people above us. They favor me. I simply have connections. And everyone, I mean everyone in this university knows that. That's just who I am here! I'm just trying to protect you. I've long decided on that. And that's not going to change."

"You're right....I don't understand. You're so different, Jesse. You and I, we've become too different. Meeting you today, I've realized that. We are worlds apart."

"Are we? I'm here, you're there. There are no worlds between us. There's only you and me."

"Then why do you have to care about what others say?"

"I don't, I'm only caring about you."

".... I should go." He jumped down from the tree swing to walk out.

"But we're supposed to eat lunch together? I already bought us a meal."

The sight of fast food in his old friend's hands was tempting. He can't really afford much from anything here. Free food wouldn't hurt. ".....You're lucky I'm hungry and broke."

They paused the fight to fill their stomachs. Jesse laid down a picnic blanket for them to sit on while they eat. There was a strained silence at the start, but Jesse was always good at breaking it. It started with some small talk to some terrible jokes. Kochi couldn't help but respond to his dumbness. 

"So how was your first day?"

"Ugh, You ask like you weren't there. It was horrible. You were horrible.... and sparkly. Celebrities are such a pain in the ass. But at least I made my first friend, Juri."

"That's not fair! I'm supposed to be your first friend in this school!" Jesse started sulking.

"Huh?? Stop, you're different! I already know you since before, stupid. You're special."

"Special? You called me special! I'm your special someone? I'm Kochi's special someone!" Jesse teased. 

"Wha-? Shut up!! You're so embarrassing!"

"DAHAHAHAH. You're blushing!" Jesse's laughs were always so loud. _I thought he'd forgotten how to laugh like that. It's hard to think this guy is the same guy from this morning._ Kochi remembered again.

".....I still haven't forgiven you. If you keep ignoring me in class, then I'll ignore your texts too."

"What!!! Are you going to seenzone me later tonight? Kochi, are you? Kochi???"

"You'll know later."

"Noooooooooo"

Jesse started fooling around until Kochi naturally laughed at him. He giggled... and giggled. Jesse missed that smile. It was rare. At least after the incident. But back then, he was the cutest ball of sunshine every single day. And his eyes sparkled every summer, greeting the sun with daily ambitions. And everytime Jesse catches him smile, he takes a moment to remember it for a lifetime. And right now, he decided to remember it with a big hearty hug! He was always a hugger. Kochi was trapped in his embrace suddenly. Jesse forcibly buried his head in Kochi's left armpit. 

"What's up with you??" Kochi violently reacted.

But Jesse spoke more peacefully, hiding his face while he talked. "I'm just...glad. You're in my embrace. You're in my school, my pride. You're close." Time stopped for a while, they could feel each other's breathing. "Just you and i....and no one else stopping us...."

"Kochi....tell me, why did we have to leave each other?" Jesse spoke his mind freely. but Kochi could never talk about it.

"Jess, I think it's time for your next class. You should go."

"You always avoid the topic."

"Just, go jess."

"Fine."


	5. A countdown

Searching for something to say

Something to say

Words fail, words fail

There's nothing I can say

_Words Fail, Dear Evan Hansen_

_///_

Onto his next class, he was by himself, and uninterested. The morning events drained his little to none enthusiasm. Kochi even thought of skipping. But he thought of his sister and couldn't bear hurting her for nothing, instead he would hurt himself for something, something better, anything at all, _please_. The day will be over soon. He was urging time to run faster than a speeding bullet while he was on autopilot. He recalled yelling at Jesse that he was "fucking grown" and it gave him a bit of motivation to strut into the crowded class. _I'm an adult._ but it wasn't that easy gaining the bold confidence to at least look at anyone's face. He found his seat to the edge of the room without looking up.

But he chose poorly. There was a clear distance between two other students and the rest of the class. He sat next to their circle innocently, until he caught a glimpse of them passing out cigarettes and a pack of _something._ He tried to look away quickly, trying to process what he saw but he already stepped into their territory. He tried not to bring attention to himself but he caught their eyes the moment he sat. Suddenly, he was asked a question.

"How was the homework? That was a total brain kill wasn't it" the man stared at him with a mocking sneer. He seemed so bright and cheerful but his presence was simmering with a sarcastic unpredictable chill. Looming over his shadow was a tall sinful built body and an unsettling ambiance that looked at him in contempt.

"Homework? I-I'm not aware of it. s-since it's my first day here." Kochi was guarding himself and kept wary of the new faces. But even so, he already overshared from his first exchange of words. 

It was like the sneering man hit the jackpot and he couldn't be more stirred. "Uh oh. But without that homework, you'll be dropped out of this unit for good. That's too bad. Oh well." he smiled sarcastically.

"What?" he felt a striking gush of panic. "I didn't know, I should be exempted right?"

The man's smile was unbearable. "Making excuses! If you bring that up, the prof will drop you in an instant." His big deceiving eyes continued to stare at him with pleasure.

Kochi's disinterest turned to cold sweat. He gulped "I-I can still make that homework, may I see yours?" his actions started rushing and he stared back at the cheerful man. It was an awkward and painful few seconds, facing a never-ending smile that sent chills down his throat. 

"So you didn't do your homework, and now you want to cheat? You're a funny guy" his tone didn't change a bit. He felt the creeps. "Uh oh, the prof will be here in a matter of seconds. Shall I count down to your judgement day?

10

9

8

7"

Kochi couldn't grasp the escalating conversation. This man was stabbing him at every count. Why is he doing this?

"6

5

4"

While he was urging time to speed up earlier, now he just badly wants it to stop.

"Plea-"

"3

2"

"Please. I-I can't drop out from any subject" Kochi felt more desperate than he should. He knew he didn't have the right, but he begged.

And that's when the man beside them slammed the desk in disgust. "Boring. Sakuma." He addressed his mischievous friend. And without any other word, his partner broke off from his little prank. "Hahahaha! You fell for it! That was fun" but his deceiving smile lingered.

"What? It was a joke?" the prank stopped but he couldn't take back those few minutes of desperation and hysteria. It seemed like harmless fun but he was really sensitive and vulnerable today. 

"Of course it was! You should chill out." Sakuma made it feel like the earlier scare was just a mere scratch and Kochi was forced to think it was. 

"You're new, huh?" Sakuma's prank ended before he could finish it but he was satisfied with his fun. "So tell me, which of the Colors inspired you to be here?"

"Huh?" he was still recovering from the prank and couldn't focus. But he didn't understand at all "I'm sorry but I don't know what you mean" he cut himself off and decided he didn't want this to continue "I need to stop by the restroom for a bit, Bye" He walked past the door and stayed by the wall, long enough to make them forget him. Kochi was always good at escaping things. He planned to go back and transfer seats, as far as possible. 

"What the hell was that? He just ran. Boring." the greedy prankster wailed. But it was just a trivial event in his day. Just another toy. "No. _You_ let him go, pathetic." his partner, Iwamoto snickered. And Kochi was right, they were about to forget him in mere minutes as he hid outside the door. But the rest of the class started talking about him in small gossips.

"Didya know that dude was a scholar?" 

"what? that dude??"

"where did they even find him??"

"he's here for free?? i swear i thought his family probably spent more than hundreds of thousands to get him admitted to JU." they shared condescending laughs.

Iwamoto's expression changed. He and his partner expressed their thoughts "Heard that? He's a scholar." Sakuma scoffed. "He doesn't even know a thing about this school"

".......What a joke."

///

Kochi left as soon as class ended. He arrived at the nearest snack avenue. Juri said he'll be here. He just wanted company. He looked around and saw someone else instead, it was that pretty boy, Taiga. He was sitting leisurely, Kochi assumed he'd know where his friend was. 

"Uh, excuse me, do you know where Juri is?" he approached the face he recognized. But the person in question had a confused expression. 

"Do I know you?" the pretty rich boy stared at him in caution. Kochi was dumbfounded. Should he be surprised? Technically, that whole time they "met", Taiga never really looked at him nor talked to him. He was a snob who only clung to Juri. 

"Uh I was with you this morning?? With Juri?? Ring a bell?" Kochi replied in irritation. From the insecurity he caused on him to the way he's being a stuck-up, he was very close to clocking this spotless spoiled brat "Now where's Juri, please?"

But no, it didn't ring a single bell. Maybe Taiga had an awful memory or he just really never paid him attention, nevertheless, he was clueless. "Um no, I'm not telling you. What if you're a stalker? Why would I give out his location to a stranger?"

"I'm not a stranger??? I-I literally saw you two reunite in years. I was there!"

"So you are a stalker!"

"No! I-I can't believe this..." He facepalmed and sat beside the cautious blond, exhausted with the mind games. Maybe he's just a little dumb, he doesn't mean harm. While he's sighing, he kept noticing eyes on him like always, as if every second there were new faces are glancing at him. When will he ever avoid all these stares? 

"Is it me or are people looking at me?" he complained. 

"Not you. Me" Taiga answered "Sorry if it bothers you, but I'm used to it by now."

Kochi felt a little relieved. "Ah, right. You're famous or something."

"Not me. My dad. They might know my face but they probably don't even know my name." he mentioned his father, implying a deep insecurity. 

"It's Kyomoto Taiga right? It's pretty memorable if you ask me. Um, is your dad an actor or something?" 

"You...don't know my dad?" the way taiga looked at him changed.

"Sorry, I don't watch a lot of TV. What's his name? I'll try to look him up. I'm sure he's amazing, I guess."

"No, You don't need to know." His approach started to become different "Hey, what's your name?"

"You were literally in front of me when I was introducing myself in class- whatever it's Kochi Yugo."

"Ah! You're the scholar!" it finally hit him. "I see, you must be too poor to have a TV"

_Let it go._

"Nice to meet you, Kochi. We'll see each other around from now on" and Kochi made his second friend in JU, although he felt like clocking him every few seconds. "You were looking for Juri earlier? He's buying parfaits. Ah. Here he comes." 

"Juri! Kochi is here!" Taiga waved to call him. 

Juri had a bewildered expression. He already spotted them before they noticed; and he couldn't believe Taiga was starting to warm up to Kochi. He wasn't the type to include just about anyone in his circle. He was selective with his company and would always bolt when there's more than five people. On the other hand, Kochi looked like he just came back from hell. Juri was relieved to see them talking without him; it always felt good when friendships merge. It's tiresome having to mediate all the time. 

He placed two fancy parfaits on their table, in front of Kochi. "So, anything interesting happened while I was gone?" Juri wanted to catch up. "Kochi, these are really good parfaits, you should try it." Taiga went ahead and took bites into his dessert. "Did you meet anyone else?" Juri continued, also indulging with the taste. Kochi tried to answer without his eyes glancing at the food in front of him, but it was awkward. "Ah well...." he thought about sharing his awful encounters to his two new friends. "Uwah! It's so delicious!" Taiga exclaimed. "A great refresher from all that sitting around" Juri remarked. They looked to Kochi who was about to say something; but his eyes glanced at the desserts in reflex. "Want to try?" Juri offered a scoop. He stared for a second at the view. "No thanks....actually I just ate" he quickly declined his piece of charity. Kochi realized he was out of place. He wanted to be in their company and talk all day with them. But he couldn't subject his friends to this awkwardness. He didn't want them to feel weird eating their expensive snacks while he'd decline them all afternoon and just continue talking. 

"Actually Juri! Uh I just wanted to ask you when the curfew was again?"

"It's 9pm, why?"

"Right! I just wanted to confirm. I have an errand to do, so see you again!" Kochi stood up hastily so they wouldn't have the chance to ask him further. He soon disappeared from their sights.

"Huh? He could've just texted me to confirm..."

"He's funny, that Kochi." Taiga expressed his interest. 

Juri smiled. "Do you like him better than me now?" 

"Hmmm...maybe. you've become boring, Juri" He teased.

"Have I? Look into my eyes and say that again." He leaned in closer and locked his eyes. Taiga smiled teasingly until Juri playfully smeared cream on his nose. 

"Hey!" Taiga screamed.

"How's that for boring?" He started laughing with his nose scrunching, and his sweet, gentle smile peeking. 

Taiga retaliated by painting a mustache on Juri's face with the cream from his dessert, and Juri just let him. He watched Taiga decorate his forehead, cheeks, and lips. And he just smiled smoothly, letting Taiga's soft, delicate hands on his face. 

"So this is my reward for not being boring?" 

Taiga cupped his face. "Yeah. That's all you get." He teased.

They smiled at each other with nostalgic eyes. Today was so much bliss. The warmth and butterflies inside of them couldn't be explained. They didn't know their hearts could hold this much. The happy place they have revisited, it was a house of memories where they've kept each other. Even after all these years, they could have fun like this. Like nothing's changed. But that was the problem. If nothing was to change, then they'd never be more than whatever this was. They met each other in highschool and naturally claimed each other. But up until their graduation where they parted, they never understood what it was, what they were. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! My goal is for readers to enjoy every update. Kudos and comments are appreciated!
> 
> I introduced two new characters. 🙇


	6. A wheel turning

_You can't make homes out of human beings_

_-Warsan Shire_

* * *

_5 New messages_

> How was the rest of ur classes? Tell me everything!
> 
> I was very happy. This school is my pride and passion. The fact that you're here....I'm just happy? I stole a glance at you two times in class. And many more in my mind. Did I look cool? everyone was praising me, right? 😝 I heard your voice when I came in, I remembered where it came from so I could take a quick peek. but I was stopping myself from being too obvious. I was scared when Juri seemed to notice. We had a rough talk earlier so I couldn't say a lot of things? 
> 
> I want to hang out more. Please send me your schedules 😭😭
> 
> you asleep? 
> 
> Goodnight 💤💤Have the sweetest dreams, and tell me all about them! 

Kochi was awoken by the sound of the door closing. He caught a glimpse of someone's back, dressed up in well-coordinated clothes, leaving his room at 4 am in the morning. It sent him into a tiny panic until he concluded it was his mystery roommate. He had once opened his cabinet while cleaning and saw the biggest collection of clothes he'd ever seen. It was a pleasant surprise, seeing how it was sorted by color, creating a gradient across the room. Kochi slept early yesterday and must've missed his roommate spending the night, and now he has left so early. Juri did say he was a busy one. 

With this slight disturbance, he couldn't go back to sleep and wallowed in the morning breeze. He faintly remembered his little dream from last night and started writing in his notebook. He had started this collection of tiny fragments from his nightly dreams for his own entertainment and self indulgence. He never missed a day to write in his journal. It was therapeutic and he'd squeeze in a few minutes of his time to write whatever. 

It was almost two thirds full. His hand unconsciously turned the page, and for a brief moment he felt a smile. But it hurt more than it healed. Seeing a glimpse of his old memories, those wonderful words he kept using, those feelings he never said out loud, and the small hints leading up to the moment he let it all go. So he hid it away. He checked his phone and saw new messages and sent it flying to his bed. He wasn't in the right head space to take on conversations. He just started cleaning up to relieve the stress.

He took an early warm shower because he knew it would always cheer him up. He loved taking baths to cleanse the fatigue away, even during the evenings; and most of all, he loved taking showers, so no one could know if he had been weeping. So he could pour like the sea and even God wouldn't notice he had been weeping. 

He recalled yesterday's events. Juri was at least there to save him. Taiga became his friend after a bit of struggle. Jesse, his old _best_ friend, bought him lunch. It's not so bad. It was normal. It was fine. 

_So what makes your chest hurt?_ he asks himself like he often does.... because sometimes, he just doesn't understand. He doesn't know why he's having breakdowns, if he really had a reason for his pain or something was just wrong with...his mind. But talking about it helps unclutter whatever. He just needs to say it out loud. 

"It's just.....I can't talk to my friends nor hang out with them....because I'm poor, I'm different, and I just don't belong." With those words leaving the tip of his tongue, he couldn't stop pouring. It felt like an old locked door was reopened and he couldn't force it to close with the entire ocean flowing from it. 

As he left the shower after long minutes of numbness, Kochi felt better. Not because he had solved the problem but because he understood it. And it left his body for at least long enough to function. Besides, he had reason to feel better.

The admin arranged him an appointment with the bank today. Waking up early was the right choice. The thought of leaving the school premises gave him a bit of energy. As much as entrance passes are strictly controlled, JU students mandated to live in the dorms were only allowed to exit their gates five (5) times for two semesters. This was intentionally made for summer, winter and spring vacations and two extra passes. But in cases like HokuJe who have official business, they can leave for as many times necessary based on their schedules and official memos from their manager. Kochi also has a special gate pass as a JU scholar. His errand today would be considered as an exemption, with the right paperwork. 

At least, JU was almost a whole city on its own. There were many franchises within the premises that allow fun gatherings and recreation. While it was still early, there was little to be seen as he made his way to the gates. He rode a bicycle he rented yesterday. It was the common transportation among the students in the school, while others had cars. 

He was greeted by the security as he showed his ID, S.O and gate pass. He was friendly with them. Somehow, he could talk easily with older adults than the ones his age "Did.... someone else already leave the premises as early as me?" he sneaked in a question. 

"Sorry, I just started my shift. So far, it's just you. Many have since entered though."

"Right, thank you sir. See you again soon." he flashed a little smile out of courtesy. He was full of manners and the security guard adored it. 

And it was over so soon. He visited the bank as soon as it opened, got his account opened and immediately received his first allowance due to their arrangement. He was overwhelmed with the money. And the more he looked at his balance, the more he didn't want to spend it. He was eager to save it and cut back on his meal portions if he had to. He already decided on sending cash to his aunt as soon as possible. He feared for his sister's comfort in that house and perhaps with new cash, his aunt wouldn't do as much mind games to Yume as she did to him. She was too young to take all that burden. He promises to save up for her studies on her behalf. 

Kochi hesitated to go back. He needed a bit more time away. He felt his wheels slide through a river bank while his eyes brave to greet the sun and the cloudless sky as it greeted him back with a kiss of warmth and wind to cool. There was no sign of rain to pour but the tracks were washed in loose mud. Maybe he had already shed it all in the early morning. It just looked like a good... morning.

He met with the gate guard again who welcomed him with a smile like he had paid it forward. He considered him as his third friend. But as he was steering his bike, he never would've guessed he was pedaling towards meeting a fourth, towards the far border, the green grass lawn. It was his first love. Football.

There was much to see. A lot of guys were running laps and some doing morning stretches. Since there was also a high school within the university, sports clubs are thriving. Kochi was thrilled. It felt like he himself was in high school again. His legs start jumping in the memory of lifting balls. But in fact, he could just sit here all day without playing. He could just look at this scenery like he was watching the leagues. He parked his bike to take a closer view. And that's when it almost hit him--literally.

A ball was sent flying to his waist, about to smash his hips if it weren't for his reflexes. A younger man with a better build ran from a distance as he witnessed the happening that he describes "was unbelievable". Before he could shout to give a heads up for his aimless shoot, he swears to himself that he saw Kochi's "super human speed" as he intercepted the ball while his back was still turned, as if he had eyes on his neck. What he couldn't see was how Kochi's body twisted as he leaped away from the speeding ball while his left thigh sliced through its momentum. It bounced forcibly to the floor and met the inside of Kochi's right foot, striking it powerfully towards the nearest goalpost. 

Kochi groaned painfully from the sudden incident, he was bent over with his hands on his knees. _I guess I should've expected balls flying in the middle of a soccer field._ When he looked up, the surprised and amused expression from the younger man in the distance was all he could see. 

"WOAH! That! was! awesome!" he had the brightest look of adornment. "You even kicked it INSIDE the goal! Dude!" this man was laughing so cheerfully in front of Kochi that he felt a breath of fresh air. He was so amused and impressed at the stunt he pulled that his expressions were so out in the open. The way he smiled from ear to ear and the way he looked at him with his glowing eyes was so endearing. He was so pleasantly different from everyone he'd met lately and it was adorable. 

"You are so cool!!" the man expressed.

"Me??" Kochi was so stunned to hear it. He was used to denying every good praise and compliment but this time, the man was so plainly sincere that it was hard not to believe it. That was the first time Kochi ever felt like he actually belongs here. And it felt so _good_.

"...you're too kind" he let himself fall on the ground. He felt weak, like an old man. 

"Don't rest just yet! Practice with me, will you? I need a shooting partner! I'll be the keeper." 

"Practice...?" Kochi just laughed. "Didn't you just strike a ball at me that almost left me injured? Maybe an apology first....?"

"Haha! It's your fault you know? standing in the middle of a field....Come on," he reached out his hand "play with me!" 

Kochi would've taken up the offer. But his next class was inching closer. He hasn't eaten yet. He held the man's hand and lifted himself up. 

"Maybe next time. See you around?"

"Ah, too bad. You know, I'm hard to find. I'm pretty busy." he teased. "Your name, at least?" 

"Kochi Yu-"

"Shintaro!" they were interrupted by an old man shouting, he gestured at his best athlete. 

"Oh shit. Gotta go, see you around, Kochi!"

 _He really is busy.... Almost everyone is._ He was dumbfounded to see him leave before him. They didn't even finish their greetings. _See you around._

_///_

It was time for P.E. Everyone gathered in the benches and sat themselves. Taiga had this 1 meter circle of distance from his surroundings like he was too expensive to touch. He didn't care to notice and continued surfing on his phone. Two other students arrived and rushed to the benches, afraid to be the late ones. Hokuto and Jesse may have slid past other professors after becoming a color, but not this one. This next professor was strict and doesn't play favorites. 

The two men rushed to the 1 meter free space they spotted beside the unknowing Taiga. While gasping for air after finally finding a seat, Hokuto froze as he realized who he was sitting next to. 

He tugged on Jesse's jersey and whispered, "Switch places with me." 

His beloved partner willingly switched with him without a word, still gasping for air. He noticed his seatmate like Hokuto has.

"Oh. Taiga right?" He bent his neck to sneak a peek at the blond's face and Taiga was forced to look at him.

"and you are Jesse." they exchanged greetings as they both recognize each other.

"You sing amazingly. I heard you at last year's festival. Although we've been introduced yesterday, glad to meet you here like this" Jesse expressed with a shake of their hands.

Taiga was similarly pleased to be greeted with a compliment to his voice, instead of the usual celebrity father talk.

"Thanks! I should be praising you instead, you are an idol with a great voice."

Jesse was flattered to hear praise from a skillful singer like Taiga. He has noticed him around the school for a long time now. 

"It'd be an honor to sing with you someday." he expressed his wish. It was an impulsive thing to say; he wasn't planning on saying that out loud but he did. 

Hokuto heard the conversation take place. And somehow, he felt his chest burn. He unconsciously nudged at Jesse's elbow in reaction. Jesse broke away from the exchange as he turned to his partner. Hokuto didn't say a word but Jesse felt an urge to tease his withdrawn friend.

"Taiga! This is Hokuto, by the way." He pretended to introduce him. Hokuto couldn't hide his surprised and annoyed expression. Taiga finally noticed his presence. 

"Ah...." with Jesse's kindness to him, Taiga wanted to be courteous. But he saw an arriving student who was very close to being late. 

"Kochi! Here!" Taiga waved to guide his lost friend. "Come sit here!" Kochi finally approached him and was flattered to be called over by the popular student. _I guess we're really friends now?_ he started thinking. 

"Where's Juri?" Kochi asked. 

"Oh, He's not in this class." Taiga replied.

 _Ah_. Kochi concluded Taiga just felt he was useful to have around without his loyal pet. 

Then he finally noticed Taiga's company. HokuJe. Jesse. The Jesse who left him tons of messages last night and now he wouldn't even dare look at his eyes. Kochi intentionally sat himself between Taiga and Jesse just to spite him.

Jesse tugged at Hokuto's jersey and whispered, "Switch places with me." and his beloved partner did without a word. 

_Coward_. Kochi thought. _.... I guess we both are._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Shintaro finally makes an appearance! 
> 
> Next chapter, we find out what events will unfold with 4 of them in the same dance class.


	7. An urban hip hop song

_"Love gives you pleasure,_

_and love brings you pain._

_And yet, when both are gone,_

_love will still remain."_

_love never dies_

(kochi pov)

If it's P.E, then it's no problem. It's just sports. I suddenly have this surge of confidence. I feel like turning it around. I actually think I...can do this whole scholar thing. No, I know I can do this!

"I'll be teaching a sequence today. It's an urban dance style. And we'll be moving to this music. Take a listen first to its tempo, rhythm, and structure." the professor played this urban hip hop sound, and I swallowed back my thoughts. 

I have never danced in my entire life! At least not properly, I guess there's a first time for everything.

Shit. He's scary. I can't even look at his eyes. Damn, this song is fast. Now he's demonstrating the steps. Shit. How many moves did he do in a single second? What the fuck. Huh, I couldn't see that one part after that other thing. Shit...... I am screwed. 

"That was the whole sequence, Now I'll be going through it part by part. And afterwards, I'll give you time to practice individually however style you wish to do. I'll be back in an hour."

He led us into a studio where there were full body wall mirrors. I could hear Taiga remark how it was easier than he'd thought while we learn the steps. They naturally stood at front right behind the instructor, while I ran to the edge and corner. The lesson was over before I could get it down. We were left to practice and everyone was doing very well on their own. Except me, of course. I could remember the first half but everything else was a blur. But despite this being my number one weakness, I still felt like pushing it forward. That dude...Shintaro, was it?....He said I was cool. And I think I believe him. At least for today, I want to believe it. 

I have to ask for help. I look to the nearest person and saw Jesse's partner....Hokuto. I didn't realize he was there, also at the back corner beside me.

"Uh, Hi! Excuse me. Um, How do you do the swing with the stepping...out thing? Sorry, I saw you practice that part. Could you show it to me?" He stared at me for one whole minute before he tried to reply. 

"Ok." he took so much time just to say this one word. What was he thinking? Maybe that this step was so easy and he's wondering why I need him to teach me. Or Maybe that I was a stranger and he's upset that I'm talking to him.

"You step out and swing your right arm under, up to your shoulder" I followed as he demonstrated it. "And you pull it in, while pushing the elbow out. And do this with the other arm too." Yeah. That was definitely easier up close while Hokuto shadows me. 

"You already got it. But work on the execution. It's awful." He was turning away until I grabbed him. "Wait! I have a few more steps to learn. Please?" There was no change in his expression. But I knew I was invading his personal space. Oops, I backed away a little.

"Which steps?" he asked me right away, but I couldn't name which ones and started mumbling. 

"Show me what you know then, and we'll start there." Hokuto was very calming. He had a deep voice that spoke straightforwardly. I was all over the place and I couldn't say what I wanted to say but he's guiding me calmly like a dance instructor. He doesn't have the same commanding energy as the real one but you could tell he was well-versed in this art. 

I at least knew the first 30 seconds. I showed him what I could. And I finally saw a change in his expression. He was thinking very hard on what to say. 

"..........there's not much time, we HAVE to start practicing right away." this time, he was being indirect. He pulled me immediately and hastily showed me the next moves. I know. I'm the worst dancer here. Hokuto seems really cold but he's being worried for me somehow? He actually cares! And he's teaching me earnestly. 

"Wrong! You spin the other way!" he is a bit strict too. I didn't think his voice could be so loud. I became so focused on dancing that I didn't notice our two friends had approached us. Majority of the class were already resting, probably mastered the sequence. 

Taiga's irritating remarks rang through my ears. "Woah, Kochi you are really bad at dancing!" He's just innocently honest with me. "Weren't you a scholar?" I don't mind since everything he's saying is the truth. "Well, I guess dancing is just not your thing." But since it's Taiga, I just want to clock him for anything he says. 

And Jesse, he's here too. Hokuto grabbed him to whisper something. "Jess, he is the worst dancer I've ever seen, Is he gonna be okay in class? There's barely time left." He doesn't realize I could hear him.

what is Jesse gonna think?

"It doesn't matter" I heard him say. Of course, he's not gonna care. People are looking. "If he won't practice, then he's bound to fail. That's just the rule." he loudly continued. "Why are you practicing in the corner? If you want to learn, go straight to the mirrors."

What? He pushed me and Hokuto to the front center. "Go on. Dance." he returned to the wall with his arms crossed.

I hated seeing myself in the mirror, I hated looking at myself, let alone myself dancing. Hokuto gestured me to continue the lesson. Taiga was monitoring nearby. I started dancing, and I saw the reflection of everyone's attention on me. They were seated on the floor, while we were standing out. Can I blame them? I was in a circle with three of the elite boys in the room, me, the worst possible dancer. I must be so lucky to receive help from them. All while the other people laugh at me to death. 

Hokuto made me try the moves in half tempo so I could slowly check how I perform each step. I was just stiff and awkward and had no sense of rhythm. I knew it even without seeing myself. And damn, I wish I didn't have to see it. It's making me lose faith. I just want to memorize the moves. That's the goal. I don't have to become a dancer within an hour. I just need to show I can learn to be one. 

"You have to add a little bounce. Lean a bit more to the direction where you hit this and relax your body." Hokuto advised. "But you still haven't finished the choreography so you can leave those parts out for until you finish." Taiga addressed it to me for some reason but he was debating against Hokuto's advices. "Fine. After the jump step, you're supposed to reach out as if you're catching _something_ , anything really, I'll leave that to your imagination. This is where your arms should be stiff and strong. You do it three times, from here....to here....to here."

"No the next step is the criss cross." Taiga argues

"Is it? But the jump transitions well to the catch."

"So does the criss cross. Try and play the song, Kochi."

"Fine, try it. but I know I'm right."

Suddenly, Taiga and Hokuto were having a subtle dispute and I'm wondering if they got acquainted while teaching me. No, I don't remember them having a conversation. They were just both talking to me when they were actually responding to each other. And they just keep on talking back as we discuss. While the dispute continues for a while, I had more time to notice the creeping attention on me. I tried to practice again, but every time, I could see another face laughing at me in the reflection. 

I left for a bathroom break.

But I didn't leave the dance behind. I tried recalling the last step Hokuto taught me before Taiga interrupted. I'm supposed to reach out my right hand, like this, with my foot stepping out. And....what was it he said....like I'm catching..... _something._

"Wrong hand." He appeared out of a clear blue sky, grabbing my wrist gently.

Jesse.

"It's your _left_ and it should be slanted above your head." His palm softly slides through mine as he pulled my hand to his eye level. I could see his other hand reaching for my lips--until he lifted my chin. "You should be facing up where your left catches whatever. You must open your palm hastily for a popping effect in synch with the beat. This arm must be firm while you do it. Got it?"

"Huh? Y-yeah but Jesse-"

"Good. Now this is after the jump. So make sure to balance yourself as you begin to reach out" He continued to coach me straightforwardly, not even letting me talk about anything else. He's trying to teach me in the bathroom?

He started counting the dance while I got lost in thought. When did Jesse become this....cool? The shy and cute giant I've known for 8 years. He's now this mature, expressive and eloquent idol. In front of me, he's very sophisticated and serious. No smile, no jokes. I'm not used to it. It's not the Jesse I know. But....why is my face warm? It feels hot. Isn't he too close?

"What are you catching?"

"What?"

"In this move, imagine catching anything. just for a visual."

"Uh...I'm catching..." I try to think of an answer but I saw my face in the mirror. Why is it so red? Get a grip. You are not doing this right now. You are _absolutely not_....

"catching what?"

 _catching feelings_ again. "sorry, I can't focus." 

"You'll never make it." What?

"....If you keep spacing out like this in practice. It's all the same. It doesn't matter if you're a scholar. You must work hard like everyone else. Don't rely so much on others helping you. I hate your kind of people the most." 

I heard my heart crack and fall piece by piece. 

"You should go back to practice." And he just left while I stood still. What the fuck? It's just us, Jesse. Why is he so different every time I see him? I don't know which one is real anymore. 

I heard the toilet flush and stall opened as another person exited the bathroom. And I just crouched down. Agh, Jesse. Why does he go so far. Even if it's an act, it pierces through me. But even if it's an act, where does he get those words from? What if...they're half meant? What if he started hating me because I am that kind of person? What if this is not an act, but the other one is?

Why do I care. I already left it all behind, didn't I?

///

"You'll take turns in groups of 6. Miyadate. Yabana. Seiya. Jesse. Shizuya. Mizuki. You're up first."

They lined up in two rows in the order of when they were called. I was seated at the very front, where I had a magnificent view. This is probably the first time I'll see Jesse's performance up close. I've often seen him within 1 feet of me, but _idol_ Jesse, he was always so far away. And I didn't mind. It was his dream, and I wanted him to go the farthest he could reach. At the beginning though, I was probably the first to hear some of his original songs, those without melodies, just lyrics he'd sing as a lullaby. I.... wanted to support him. I really tried to. But even without me, he was already on his way to this world. And he really made it, while I only found out through the web. "New duo unit from Johnny's, Hokuje". It was long after we last saw each other. But not so long before we'd see each other again.

The song played and they started performing. And while there were six wonderful dancers in front of me, I could only look at Jesse who catches all of our attention. At the back left corner, he stood out magnificently. It's not like he desperately tried to outshine his colleagues; he just naturally turned his shadowed corner- the center stage. He was stylish, unique and eye-catching. At this exact moment, I've realized that Jesse....is the brightest star out there. Not just in this room, not just in this school, but in the entire universe. He's a superstar! I felt goosebumps. Is it possible for someone to be born for the stage? I already knew of how beautiful, how sweet, and how strong his voice was, but it was my first time witnessing his stage presence and dancing. I was in awe. 

If it was me next to Jesse right now, I would fail this test. They'll realize how ugly and plain I was. They'll realize just how much I don't belong here, especially not in a stage with Jesse. Maybe, I wouldn't even matter. All those times people have called me ordinary, they'll be darn right. But.......if it means showing the world just how special Jesse was, then I don't care. If it means letting people realize that Jesse was not like anyone else in this room, especially not like me, then I'd run up there right now. I don't mind being ordinary, because I know Jesse is extraordinary.

///

"Is he gonna be alright, Hokuto?" Jesse whispered. Taiga heard the exchange and responded "He's gonna suck. But we all start there. Well, not me, really. You're worried for Kochi, too, Jesse?"

"No!" Jesse panicked and violently reacted. "No....I'm just curious about Hokuto's teaching skills. I wonder if you taught him well?" He turned to Hokuto. "It's weird to see you talk with anyone but me, you know?" 

"Don't act so surprised. You know why." Hokuto said. "I wonder?" His partner feigned innocence.

"Because he's actually so kind and soft inside?" Taiga snickered.

"Well said, Taiga!" Jesse teased and met Hokuto's annoyed expression. Before he could think of a comeback, the song started. In bad luck, Kochi was positioned at front and center. Hokuto couldn't bear to keep his eyes on him. His arms were flimsy from the get-go, and his body like a rock. Taiga scooped his face in nervous anticipation of the mess. At least he was in better composure than Hokuto, who is blinking longer than usual. There was a collective laugh throughout the studio. And it was obvious what the comedy was about. And when it was all over, the laughs stopped when the instructor crossed his arms. 

"You, in the center." Kochi gulped, his face bravely meeting the instructor's eyes. "You stood out. In the worst way possible. I don't know what to do with you. I'm speechless. I don't understand why you're even here." It was another pain Kochi had to endure. He lowered his face and felt so embarrassed. Everyone was looking. Everyone is witnessing his shameful existence. It just had to happen. He was already doomed the moment he was assigned to this class. He just wants to close his eyes and wait until the class is over. At least, the dancing is over. His heart is pounding. 

His classmates couldn't look at his face. They all felt the second-hand embarrassment of being reprimanded. It was tense and awkward. But Jesse, he never took his eyes away from Kochi from the moment he started dancing to the moment he was called out. While Kochi was hurting, Jesse's heart was breaking. 

"I'm sorry.........but please let me learn amazing dances only from you!" Kochi bowed his head in a proper manner. The instructor's mood changed a bit. He was strict and played no favorites, but Kochi tugged his soul for a second there. He sighed and broke off the tense atmosphere. "....Class dismissed." 

_It's over._ Kochi was the first to run out. His friends didn't even get to comfort him. He couldn't stand to face anyone right now. He wanted to be alone.


	8. A silent cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last update was very long ago, so maybe a summary of what happened until now:
> 
> Kochi arrived in JU as the new scholar and reunites with debuted idol Jesse who is keeping their friendship a secret. Juri and Taiga, also reunited highschool "sweethearts", befriends him along the way. While he's feeling outcasted, he meets shintaro who inspired him to work hard in his next class: dance. He seeks help from Hokuto to learn the assignment. But his bad luck made him feel the worst as he gets called out in the evaluation. He quickly left the room as class ends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning// bullying, violence, wounds

As he bolted aimlessly out of there, he chose a path he hadn't been to before, just because he followed where there were less people. And despite that, he bumped into someone on the way. From how fast he was running, the impact was strong enough that he fell to the ground. Kochi felt a chill down his spine. Things were to go downhill from here on.

"Sorry-" he uttered an apology before getting suddenly lifted up by the crown of his head. "No, it was my fault. I blocked you and you fell." He heard someone say. He was being lifted up by the pull of his hair. Kochi's face scrunched up from the pain. And he was horrified to see who he had bumped into. 

"Iwa-chan~! Why did you make him fall? Poor guy~!" Sakuma was just behind them. "Oh. Would you look at that. It's our old friend" Iwamoto finally released Kochi but the headache is severe. His grip left a lasting pain. The two men surrounded Kochi within a second. Iwamoto rested his arms on the weakling's shoulders. "How should I make it up to you?" He took out a cig and Sakuma lit it up. He blew right onto Kochi's face, making him cough badly from the inhaled smoke as he tried to break loose to gasp for breath. His two companions cheered. "There, there." Sakuma strongly patted his back, handling him so he couldn't escape their clutches. Kochi was being lead on to the situation. He couldn't even walk straight while they continue to talk to him. After that impact, every second just passed by and he couldn't do anything about it. 

"Why don't you try? It'll make you feel better" Sakuma tried to force him but Kochi strongly refused. He shook his head but Sakuma insisted and pressed it against his lips. "No!" Kochi finally snapped and shoved the man's hand away. As he retreated, Iwamoto towered his back and trapped him once more. "You didn't need to push him." his voice made Kochi cower.

"...sorry." Kochi's bad feeling isn't going away. He is terrified. He knew they were stronger than him, physically and mentally.

He noticed the nametag plates on their fits. HokuJe and Taiga had one just like it. These two weren't just some delinquents. He didn't know exactly what yet but there was some kind of significance to those nametags. and he knew he was fucked up. 

"It's fine!" Sakuma exclaimed. "I just need a little compensation, you know? That push hurt a bit." there was that mocking smile again. "Maybe....a little cash?" Kochi, after hearing that, glared. He was being swindled off his allowance, where he didn't even consider spending on food cravings or comfort items. But now he has to spare some for his life? 

"Stop pretending to be my friend." His fists were clenched. "Can you please leave me alone?"

Iwamoto blew his smoke with a sneer. Kochi tried to take courage. But it fueled their anger. "We know you're a scholar. You didn't spend a single coin to enrol in JU, and you're just damn lucky to be even here despite being......you. And yet, you won't even spare some bills for us? How ungrateful." Iwamoto forcibly locked his arms. "Sakuma." He signalled to his friend as he passed on his cig. Sakuma pressed the butt onto Kochi's exposed waist and it burned his skin. Kochi cried out.

///

The door was unlocked when Kochi came back to his dorm room. The sky already turned to a pinkish pallete, similar to his fresh wound. At the other side of the door was someone he'd met earlier. 

"Oh. You're here." Hokuto greeted him.

Kochi jumped a bit. He didn't know if he was surprised by his presence or ashamed to face him again since their class.

"Hokuto?....were you looking for me or something?" 

Hokuto sat down on a chair beside the beds. "Hmm? not really" his back was turned.

Kochi had a visible confusion. He waited for a minute and observed Hokuto who was making himself busy in his room.

"Uh...why are you here again?" he asked.

Hokuto looked to him in response. "....To sleep?" he opened the cabinet for a change of clothes, stripping himself in front of his bewildered...roommate.

Kochi was processing things too slow that afternoon. He didn't mean to stare while his mind was connecting the puzzle pieces.

 _Hokuto is my roommate...??!_ He thought back to their encounter in class. He didn't even mention the fact nor broke the ice with some introductions. From his greeting earlier, it seems he was aware of his roommate's identity. But they just interacted normally like he wasn't gonna be sleeping in the same room. 

"All this time you were my roommate! and you knew?! Why didn't you tell me....at class...." and while Kochi was speaking, his shameful memory of dancing resurfaced. He was glad Hokuto's back was turned. He couldn't make eye contact. 

He thought maybe after reaching his dorm, he could slump in peace. But his roommate had to be the person he disappointed the most. He just wanted to forget it happened but Hokuto being there couldn't erase it from his mind. He lifted his shirt to press on his wound. His jaw was clenched. 

Hokuto turning around made him stop and hide away his scar. But hokuto already caught a glimpse of it from the mirror, silently horrified. The good thing was, Hokuto was the kind of roommate Kochi needed that night. One that minded his own business and left him alone. He never brought up the dance class even once. And he never spoke nor made unwanted noise to bother Kochi. It was peaceful. 

When Kochi realized his hunger, he opened their fridge and found a handwritten note on a box.

"Don't cook. ~~this is~~ Eat. ~~you ca~~ dinner." as if the writer couldn't express the message well. He glanced at Hokuto who was acting ignorant. Kochi's eyes turned watery without realizing it. "Hokuto....will you be my friend?" 

**1 new message**

> _Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it's resilience. Hokuto is tough to approach, but you managed to break his walls back there. You could've mentioned it was your first time learning how to dance ever, but you chose not to._
> 
> _Mr. P is also a tough one, but that was the first time someone disarmed the tension. Your humbleness and honesty was probably a pleasant surprise to him. Johnny's students always had this pride, especially since we are college sophomores now._
> 
> _I monitored your dance and there's a lot of room for improvement. You have a unique way of dancing. And remembering the choreography is a big achievement! You finished the whole sequence! as expected of you, Kochi!_
> 
> _Do you want to learn dance with me? Please say yes! When you said to Mr. P “I want to learn amazing dances only from you”, god I wish that was me!!!_
> 
> _Send me your sched so we can hang out 😭😭😭_
> 
> _Goodnight! You went through a lot today, so sleep well. I’m here when you need me._
> 
> **Unsent message**
> 
> _You know, Kochi….the important thing in a performance is having fun. I’m scared you’ll start to hate dancing because of today. I never want to force you into something you hate. It’s pointless without your smile. It’s pointless to be here if you hate it, if you hate my world, if….you hate when you're with me. I’m sorry. I hate seeing you in pain. I’m sorry….I’m sorry…._
> 
>   
>    
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the main plot wasnt even reached yet, i will try my best to progress in the next chapter!


	9. The first tone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Sorry for being so slow. Thank you for waiting! Enjoy this longer chapter)

> _A few months ago_
> 
> “As someone who is finally debuting, what advice would you tell young dreamers like you?”
> 
> Fidgeting constantly while they’re being interviewed for the first time, Jesse answers,
> 
> “Just think….Why not? And just…. go for it. Sorry, is that too simple? That’s genuinely what I say to my friends who want to try new things. And if you're my friend, I simply want to support you without reservations, so that dream of yours, why not?”
> 
> Beside him is his partner, who smiles at the words he’s familiar with. Jesse’s magical words. But it was never about the words, maybe it’s just Jesse himself who makes you believe in yourself. It was his kind of magic.
> 
> * * *

The TV was playing in the office, ideally placed for monitoring the agency's talents. Jesse entered just in time for a show's broadcast. HokuJe recently filmed for an episode. The boss welcomed him as he calls his attention to the screen. It was short but it was enough.

“You seem to know your variety shows well. It was good.”

Jesse showed his respects “Thank you very much.”

“You look good on screen. And Hokuto especially. He has that face of…an actor” the man pointed out his jawline and angles. “….What do you think, Jesse?”

“Yes absolutely. Not just his face, Hokuto has a passion for acting as well. He is quite the guy for it. I’m glad you’ve acknowledged it.” Jesse radiated pride for his partner. He was always called in for these discussions.

“Good to know.” He displays an arrangement he’s chosen for Hokuto, revealing his thought-out plans prior to this meeting. He already wanted Hokuto to act in a drama under a senior, and yet Jesse is rubbed the wrong way. It was going to overlap with the movie Hokuto had longed and auditioned for. He had gone for multiple auditions for other projects, but didn’t make the cut. And this time, he actually won the role after diligently studying it. And yet the ignorant boss simply scheduled something else for him.

Jesse expresses his doubts and dissatisfaction, trying to negotiate without hurting their chances.

“Ah….the movie, it’s a minor role isn’t it? This one is bigger. It’s for the best.” He dismissed the thought. Jesse clenched knowing how hard Hokuto worked for the role. He'd be broken in a silent war with anxiety.

“Enough about others. Let’s talk about you. That’s why you’re here right? Good news. The label is allowing you to write your own lyrics for the song. Isn’t that great?” 

Jesse's mood lightened. “That’s awesome! I’ll discuss this with Hokuto so I’ll know what to write!”

The boss immediately interrupts him before he misunderstands “It’s your solo song. Just your voice. Just the lyrics you want to convey" Jesse's spirits is caught in a frozen fog.

"We might be able to release it next month if you’re diligent. Anyways you still have time, your manager will come to you soon. That’s about it for today. You may leave if you've got nothing else to report”

It was unlike of Jesse to run out of words to say. He stood still and uninspired. His dreams, ambitions, they were always extraordinary. It compiles on his strengths, his insecurities and his faith. The light in his eyes sees differently; and he believes in his visions. It was difficult to articulate what he was seeing at present. He just feels _incomplete_ hearing those plans, just 'Hokuto' and 'Jesse', and no HokuJe.

It was at this moment that he felt drawn to a noticeable document on the desk. And all of a sudden, his hopes soared. He reads the cover title as every syllable leaves inspiration on his lips, "SIX....TONES"

“Is this the name….for that special project you mentioned before?”

“Ah. Our very special project. Your seniors are coming today remember? They’ll announce it during the event. You better welcome them properly! Go on now, they’re arriving soon.”

Jesse took deep breaths. After today’s discussion, he wants to make an impulsive and determined leap. Maybe it was the magic that he doesn’t know he has, because he's feeling an adrenaline rush.

He kneels with a deep bow as he declares, “I’ve decided! We want to participate in this special project! Please allow us, Hokuto and Jesse, to join this project! Even if you say no, we will still be auditioning on our own no matter what, so please give us your blessing!”

The boss was stunned. His new generation front-runner is on his knees asking for an impulsive request. His unanticipated actions were beyond him. And he's showing his full resolution towards his choice. But it would change a lot of his plans, something Jesse was aiming for. With this one move, he's managed to shake up the boss' uninspiring decisions. And the man doesn't hate it. He realizes once again why he likes calling Jesse for discussions. His visions entertained him. 

"I welcome your resolve. Well then, fine. However, you both will not audition. You will be the starting lineup."

Jesse gulped. _Maybe I should’ve consulted Hokuto first?_ He started having second thoughts.

“You will be the first tone.”

* * *

Today was the annual opening of the alumni homecoming month in Johnny’s University. All the different departments look forward to this grand event that welcomes former students with special participation from famous and successful seniors in their fields. In other words, they were to meet celebrities and figures they look up to and wish to follow in their footsteps. Most notably in the Johnny’s Idol department, the debuted seniors holds an annual audition for becoming an official color. This was a special opportunity because the seniors will recruit a winning student to produce in their label. The winner who ascends to his chosen color will be trained by the hosting seniors, employed as part of the label and exposed to multiple jobs. This was the best way for aspiring students, especially some dark horses, to reach the spotlight. But it was never easy, because only one lucky man is awarded. But this year, it’s become more ambitious. The hosting senior was ARASHI.

After receiving a text from Hokuto, Kochi was forced to go out of his room and attend the event at the last minute. And he was lost as ever. This culture was unfamiliar and it was certainly confusing to him. But he didn’t want to disappoint his new friend after he so kindly invited him. It was very unlike of Hokuto and he couldn’t let it go to waste. And in the past few days, Hokuto’s the only one he’s been talking to, locking up in his room and avoiding his classmates. What was so special about this occasion, he wasn't so sure.

The event was exclusively for Johnny’s students and faculty, no press was allowed. So it was easier for ARASHI to host it in peace. As the program started, cheers filled the whole gymnasium almost like a freaking concert! It was nothing less of the national treasure. Many Johnny’s students looked up to them. It is going to be a rare experience. It was the first time all 5 members will host their alumni homecoming. The venue was booked coming from different departments. And Kochi is lucky he was able to get a seat at the last minute. For a while now, he’s been starstruck by a certain member on stage….it just felt healing. ARASHI graced the audience with a special song. Everyone in the crowd was beyond doubt blessed to hear it! This was too much for an opener. Most students wouldn’t be able to hear them sing live like this.

And now, the time had come for the awaited announcement.

“This year, we will also be opening auditions for official colors!” the crowd cheered. Some are spectators, some are aspirants. Auditions were always welcome for _all_ departments. Because colors weren’t just singers or dancers, they were charmers. And whoever charms the hosting seniors, wins.

“But this year……will be different.”

Everyone grew excited. The suspense was thrilling. Among the crowd, Juri sits in anticipation. As a member of the student council, he had heard of some rumors of the coming event. Juri was like any other JU student, this was a big chance for him. And he’s serious this year. He was fired up.

“This year….there will not only be _one_ color ascended…..but _four_ ”

It was indeed news to everyone. This was quite a number. _How generous of the university, that’s quite rare,_ Taiga thinks to himself while the rest of the crowd goes ballistic.

“Exciting huh? But….there’s more! These _four_ new colors………will debut in one group.”

 _No way. The auditions are for debut? No way….?_ Juri was astounded. It was unbelievable. This was the biggest chance they’ve ever put on the table. Debut is such a strong word.

The lights went off. And spotlights shine the stage one by one, as the hosting seniors describe each color.

“Charismatic Blue. Communicative and all-rounded. Blues have a strong presence, they are perfectly balanced.”

“Ethereal Pink. Graceful and Whimsical. Pinks naturally fit center stage with massive talent and visuals to serve.”

“Dynamic Green. Free-spirited and powerful. Greens go wild and free, bringing life and energy whenever, wherever.

“Shining Yellow. Healing and bright. Yellows bring warmth and joy like the sun and star, as they are in turn the most loved.”

Four colored lights adorn the stage. But there’s still more up their sleeves. At least two more.

“…..And here’s a pleasant surprise for you all. These chosen four will form a group with two debuted colors!”

“Matsumura Hokuto. Mysterious Black. Intellectual and Sophisticated.….and Jesse. Passionate Red. Optimistic and Brave.” Hokuto and Jesse appeared on stage, standing inside their own colored spotlights.

“This is the SIXTONES debut project!”

* * *

An overpowering celebrative cheer could be heard after ARASHI announced the biggest debut project. And suddenly, someone from the edge of the stage had climbed up. He wasted no time to show his intentions.

“Well then, I’m auditioning!” the young man declared in front of his seniors. Four ballot boxes were placed on stage. Students were to insert their name and information if they wish to audition. They must choose among the 4 colors: blue, pink, green, and yellow. Should they fail their chosen color, they could audition for another.

“And I’m auditioning to be a Green! This is for all my green rivals out there! At least now you know your biggest competition.” He inserts his paper in the green ballot box. The audience howled. The hosting seniors were impressed and entertained. The boy got guts and it helped hype up the whole crowd. 

Kochi in the audience was bewildered. He recognized the young man. And he wasn’t the only one apparently.

“No way? That’s him…..I haven’t seen him for a long time. He’s back? And he’s all grown up!”

“Who’s that? He’s got guts!”

“It’s him right? It’s Shin-chan! He used to be on TV so much! He’s a child prodigy!”

Hokuto and Jesse were similarly surprised. They watched him stride across the stage unbothered. Shintaro caused a commotion but he was quick to leave before he’s caught. He glances at the two idols beside him and smiles. _How insane. Who is this guy?_ Hokuto whispers to himself as he stares at the stranger. Shintaro returns a wink before he magically disappears.

“Did he just wink at you?” Jesse claims. “Why did he wink at you?”

Jesse’s remark made Hokuto’s ears red. “I-I don’t know either! S-stop asking!”

The event continued with more games, but Hokuto and Jesse stayed behind the stage. Hokuto saw Jesse’s eyes and immediately knew what he’s been dying to ask. “Don’t worry, he’s there somewhere. I texted him.” His beloved partner finally calmed down. But there’s still a lot on Hokuto’s mind. They have these chitchats about the auditions that are about to take place for a month, their predictions and their reactions to ARASHI’s song. Jesse had made the decision to join the project without Hokuto’s permission and he dropped the bomb just hours before the event opening. It was a lot to take in. and therefore a lot to be anxious about. But it wasn’t that hard to be okay with. Because Hokuto had faith in Jesse’s choices more than anything. He would follow him wherever he wants to go. But Hokuto’s heart was heavy.

“Jesse…..am I not enough?” He slumps.

Jesse felt his heart sink. Hokuto’s negative thoughts are eating him again. “What are you saying, Hokuto!”

“I’m just thinking…he’s forming a group because our duo is not enough. But you’re perfect, Jesse. I know it must be me. I’m sorry for pulling you down.”

Jesse felt guilty. The boss never included the two of them in the project. But Jesse insisted without Hokuto knowing. _He was going to separate us, Hokuto. I couldn’t let that happen._

Some staff interrupted and dragged Jesse away because the seniors were summoning him. 

“Hokuto, listen, You’re my member! You’re important and I need you!” Jesse leaves with a sweet message, and Hokuto was finally able to smile.

…..At least for a while before someone completely crashed his mood. As Hokuto step backwards nearing a corner turn, a boy bumps into him in a rush. Both of their reflexes prevented a serious injury. But as Hokuto was backing away, the other person held his hand and dragged him along in a blink of an eye.

“This way!” The mysterious boy led him behind a post, gesturing him to shush.

 _What’s happening? Who? What?_ Hokuto collects his thoughts and tries to stay grounded until he recognized the boy holding his hand, his eyes widen and his heart starts to race. This stranger had earlier winked at him. “You—” the boy covered his mouth before he could speak, looking over Hokuto’s shoulder with his face nearly touching the blushing idol's ears.

A man passes by, searching the hallway until he slowly leaves in frustration. The boy, Shintaro, was running away from his coach.

Shintaro releases a big sigh of relief. He removes his palm from Hokuto’s mouth. “Sorry about that. I couldn’t let him see me”

Hokuto slightly growls, looking away as he feels his face getting hot. “You’re that aspiring green earlier….What are you—?" 

“Well, it’s fine now! He’s gone!” Shintaro beams a smile while they are perched behind a post. Hokuto raises his eyebrows in disbelief. This silly boy is getting on his nerves. And they continue to stay on the floor for a delay of seconds. Hokuto watches as Shintaro snickers.

“Wh-what’s so funny?!”

Shintaro brings his face forward. “Haha. I said it’s fine now. But you’re still holding my hand” he teases. Hokuto screams and breaks free from his hand. The audacity. Shintaro was clearly enjoying the sight, Hokuto was fun to play with. _How cute_

He explains today was supposed to be his break; but after making himself the center of attention during the event, he’s been running away from his “pursuer”. He left out to mention the part where he's avoiding responsibilities. Although Hokuto never bothered to ask, Shintaro just kept going on and on, until he threw Hokuto off-guard midway his sentence.

“Hey, would you please sign my CD?” he takes out HokuJe’s debut single from his sweater, and a pen to sign it with. “I’m a fan” he flashed his charming smile.

Hokuto was blinking too much. He can’t resist a praise. Just the sight of his debut single in someone’s hands made him feel warm inside. “Guess I can’t help it.”

Shintaro gestures a winning fist. “Lucky! Then, please! please write me a little message too! Ah, I know….please write—" Hokuto sighs and proceeds to write his requested message.

“—To my future member”

The idol keeps being caught by surprise, but he just went along with it. He doesn't hate a motivated person. He yearns for that kind of optimism. While trying to finish his message, some of his peers joined the party. Juri ruffles Hokuto’s hair from behind as Taiga greets Shintaro by climbing onto his shoulders. Hokuto’s expression said it all.

Juri always has the answers. “You didn’t know? Right now, you’re looking at two child prodigies from Johnny’s. Kyomo and Shintaro have worked together in the past. I feel nostalgic! Shintaro, it’s been a long time!”

Taiga was surprised to see Shintaro in the event, much more see him make a grand entry to the auditions. He knows Shintaro had slowly lost interest in the industry. He peaked very early, being an idol figure as a child. His skills started expanding as he picks up numerous hobbies and interests. He majored in dance but was investing his time in sports and extracurriculars. But Shintaro had a mutual feeling towards Taiga. He was surprised to see him shift to the idol department. Compared to theater, it seemed a bar lower for someone like Kyomoto Taiga. 

But both of these child prodigies didn't realize they more or less started leaning towards the same dream, around the same time......when HokuJe debuted.

The three try to catch up with what little time they have before Shintaro notices the clock. He was always so hard to find, running from place to place.

“Sorry! I have to go!” he grabs his treasured hokuje single from the idol’s hands and expresses his gratitude. Hokuto tries to stop him from leaving abruptly, “But I didn’t finish —” and Juri was the same, “Wait! Let me walk you outside!” he chases after his steps.

 _What a turn of events._ Hokuto is drained and rests his back on the wall, his eyes fixated on the person left behind.

“You seem intimate with Juri”

Taiga accompanies him some meters away. “……I've known Juri for very long now.”

Hokuto looks down to Taiga’s delicate hands. “….even longer than us?”

“...........The thing about _us_ is, we didn’t last long”

* * *

Juri is trying to keep up with Shintaro and begs him to slow down. He’s been asking about Taiga’s interests from someone who knew him better and up close. There wasn’t much to say, Shintaro found Taiga as an enigma in his own world. As Juri reaches his limit, Shintaro stops to properly say goodbye.

“That.” Juri points to the CD in his hand “Isn’t that hokuje’s?” he was bent with his hands on his knees as he gasps for air.

“Yep, bought it myself!” he proudly shows off his collection, holding it up to the sky like an offering to the gods. And with the sun in his face, he finally noticed what was earlier written on his precious CD. His heart leaped as he reads,

“To my future”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we've reached the main plot! introducing more ship dynamics!


End file.
